So Pat did the “Wheatgrass Happy Dance” again yesterday, when I told her I’d passed the blood test via SMS. I was relieved that last week’s food poisoning hadn’t had a lasting effect. Because it was a Victoria and Alphaeus day, she couldn’t take me in for chemo and the consult with Dr Landers. I was planning to drive myself but Pat worried that I’d be feeling ‘lomp’ by the end of chemo if I had it. Sharon B came to the rescue. I swear that little car is accompanied by the Ride of the Valkyries when it pulls into our drive! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5szTaJHZUc if you’ve forgotten what it sounds like.)
It was so nice to chat about normal life as we drove in – bringing up all the satisfying feelings of travelling to a race. Sharon is a great conversationalist, and what I love about her is that she isn’t shy to express curiousity. I take that as a sign of profound intelligence and human feeling. It made it easy to sit and wait to see the oncologist, until I woke from my enjoyment of the conversation and realised that I was keeping her from work. I could have chatted all day!
The consultation went well, I’m scheduled for a CT scan on Monday, followed by a brief consultation with one of the oncologists. Hopefully this scan will show progress in zapping mofos and shrinking tumours. My own feeling is that it is better, but then we’ll see on Monday.
The drug supplier hadn’t sent the order for Avastin, so I just had the FU 5 and Pat and I got home at 4.30, after stopping for hemerrhoid muti and flea stuff for the dogs. Rocky’s picked up fleas from the guinea pigs at school and he’s allergic so he gets horrible hot spots which he bites until he bleeds. Easy to see with the new puppy cut!
And this is where he was going in the heat.
This sight cheered me up, if I can’t go in the pool at least R can. I had spent the afternoon meditating on my friendship with N and wanting to have something to say at her memorial tomorrow in Pretoria. Sadly with the chemo, I don’t have the energy to do a day trip or an overnighter. I’m sorry about that, yet I feel a sense of celebration of her life and her lovely family. I also have a sense that for all the loss and grief, there’s a purpose.
I’ve been reading “The Field” by Lynn McTaggart, which draws together so much research about quantum dimensions and energy states, including the work of Jacques Bienveniste which got him toppled from the top of the biochemical research heap. I think that if it’s really so that the electorchemical ‘memory’ of a drug in water can be digitised and emailed to someone, and that lab can get the same results (influencing heart function) that the original lab got with the digital signal, that’s worth investigating. It sounds like homoeopathy, which I know a lot of people scoff at, yet McTaggart seems to be making a good argument for why it might be worth considering. Not one that drug companies would enjoy though. Not that I’m dissing drug companies either, I am very grateful for their research and discoveries. I just wonder who is aggregating all the different research, allopathic and holistic, and what their agenda might be. Nature journal does not come out looking great in McTaggart’s assessment.
I was a bit irritated by the fact that the drug company hadn’t sent the order for Avastin on Tuesday, especially as Discovery sent me the statement that it had been paid for, on Monday. These statements for the drugs always make me gasp. I do wonder how 250ml of a substance can cost R14 thousand. Thank god for good medical aid.
You might be able to guess that I’m feeling very philosophical. It’s a bit like people saying CoP has been a waste of taxpayers’ money. I don’t think so. I think consciousness has been raised – at least in the young people of Durban – who might be the people who really have to care. I’m glad they have the issue – I suspect that sustainable development and growth needs the money that was paid out by the Minister of Police for the wrongdoings of officers – R1, 6 million or whatever it was could have created a couple of jobs in recycling or something.
I don’t know how each of us act to change the things that don’t work – refuse to go somewhere where the service is uncaring? Give our purchases careful thought before buying them, reject overpackaging? And what do you do when you hear that government is buying a beauty spa at vast cost. Why would they do that?
I have lots of questions.
On the very plus side, yesterday I had a beet, carrot, apple and celery juice with celery from the garden. I worried that picking some stalks might damage the plant, it didn’t it has bushed even more during today. Tonight’s dinner was tuna salad with freshly picked tender lettuce leaves from the same garden that Karen gave. I have lots of thanks to give.
Which brings me to the last message – from a mail that my sister sent me. I hope it cheers you as it did me. I know from Sunday, FaceBook etc and along the way how many of you are dealing with the ‘stuff’ that life throws out, especially as we start thinking of relaxing for the festive season.