I’m thinking about my brave brother, Andy, today. He listened to my nagging and is taking himself of for a colonoscopy and a gastroscopy. This thing is genetic. If I’d gone when my dad told us about his illness I might have been in a different position today. I’m sure Andy’d prefer not to have to even think about the possibilities, but he loves his girls too much to mess around. That’s a different and harder kind of courage. To modify the bible – greater love hath no man than to live for others.
Yesterday was beautiful in so many ways – and reminded me all over again of the blessings of my life. I love the responses to the blog – a) you make me feel so special and b) each one is uniquely you, which reminds me of how special you are. For a treat read Mari’s lovely poem called Bodies that she posted yesterday.
It was a pleasure to send the answer to the float/sink conundrum to those who asked – as Sioux gratifyingly responded: “Wow! This I did NOT know. I have passed it on to my family – I feel like as gross as it is, this is something we should talk about.”
The pains moved away and the carrot and apple juice that Pat made me did it’s magic. I do find myself getting tired after I’ve been up for 5 or six hours, but I’m blessed that I can fall onto my bed for an hour or so and wake up refreshed.
Sharon, my walking buddy and co-worker-out- of – knotty- life-challenges came over to walk Pepper after work. The pooch has been looking at, nay seating herself, in front of the hook that holds her lead, every time I put my takkies on. My takkies are the most comfortable shoes I own – and make me feel strangely healthy, even though I’m not planning to exercise.
Pepper was mostly well behaved. She’s very strong and gets fixated on the danger of missing a smell or a postbox which means that she zigzags rather than walking in a straight line. Generally the threat of her choking herself to death in her excitement doesn’t worry her. So Sharon and I moseyed and chatted round the block with a delighted hound. On the way past we stopped to pick Rocky up from school, and Sharon was introduced to the principal and all the bunnies. The kids love Rocky (who was showing off his territory by herding the three week old bunniy babies), and they lavished love on Pepper. I got to hold one of the babies – so soft and lively and vulnerable, about two handsful – this is the closest I could get to a pic.
I was amazed at how my fitness level has dropped. Two weeks ago I walked 9kms, albeit relatively slowly and yesterday, I was puffing after a couple of hundred metres. It really was a mosey, and I’m very grateful to Sharon for the chance to walk a little bit while she controlled Pepper, who has two speeds – stop and flat out. The walk seemed to remind my body that it could “be regular”. It’s impossible to describe how satisfying that is.
I guess that the chemo is forcing the bod to deal with other challenges and it is drawing on the strength of muscles that got used to working. It was a bit of a bugger that the nausea part of the side-effect spectrum chose to hit staight afterwards. Up to now I haven’t felt like being sick, so it came from nowhere. I’d thought that the chemo was out of my system and totally didn’t expect to be feeling sick 4 days after the first treatment stopped. Happily the onco nurses sent me home prepared for any eventuality and “I have medicine” which worked very quickly. It was quite funny to see Pat rummaging around to find a bucket though.
Belly laugh of the day from Brigitte
“must tell you that I had a blonde moment today when I was telling one of the mums at our cricket game that a good friend of ours was not well and SHE had been diagnosed with prostrate cancer. This woman looked quite alarmed and said she didn’t know women could also get prostrate cancer and I of course insisted that this was the case. Took me a while, but this woman I am sure was pretty confused about us gay people at the end.”
What an amazing kaleidoscope of love, beauty, ick and laughter, but better than a kaleidoscope because each is experienced with my whole body – sight, sound, touch, muscle and heart.